SECRETS OF SUSTAINING A LIFE LONG LASTING MARRIAGE
Marriage is like an institution that you get admitted into, and you will probably not supposed to graduate. Divorce is not graduating from the institution of marriage, rather is like being expelled.
True marriage needs to be built on a solid foundation in order to withstand the talons of time. The basic foundation that can make a solid marriage includes, commitment, love, patience, trust and respect.
My father will always say, “son, marry the one that loves you and not the one that you loves”. For those you love, you will displease your self tryna impress, but those who loves you will diplease themselves trying to impress you.
There’s no ready made Mr. Right or Mrs. Right anywhere , you can grab that Mr. Left or Mrs. Left from the nearby and mould him or her to the form you desire.
This time I’ll love to talk about the few secrets that can aid you sustain a life long lasting marriage.
This Aproko Readers’ Digest is most useful to Adults only 18+, married or intending to marry.
Read and apply, for the information piece is quite useful, I term it Marriage Success Concepts.
THE MARRIAGE SUCCESS CONCEPTS
1.) LIMIT OF THE COUPLE:
Now understand that your partner has his/her strength and weakness. Understanding your strength and weaknesses in various ramifications will go a long way to compensate individual differences.
No human is perfect, only God is perfect, for this reason you must assist each other without leaving responsibility on the shoulder of the other person when you are in the best position to assist, knowing fully well your partner has gone beyond elastic limit.
Don’t focus on the weakness you spot, encourage each other, and by so doing you will simulate and spearhead an ideal perfect marriage. Never capitalize on the mistakes of the past, let by-gone be by-gone.
Always remember that true love is rare, you might never find another who will genuinely love you this much. A friend use to tell me, “a good woman is not easy to find, when you find one in a careless hand who doesn’t know her value, you have to steal her and settle down immediately”.
Know the value of your partner, there are relationship thieves everywhere.
2.) BURN THE PAST – LEAVE IN THE MOMENT:
Every sinner has a bright future and every saint has a dark past history.
No one is an angel, holy without blemish. When you get married or you want to get married, stop digging into the past history of your partner.
What matters most is the present life. Old things have passed away as we are now writing on a new page.
Forgive and forget if you where ever hurt. Don’t make reference to past mistakes at any point in time, unless for positive reference purposes for this entails you are harbouring malice. If you have done something wrong, be ready to admit and ask for forgiveness.
Focus on the present and the future.
Rebuild yourselves by combining the good and positively working principles you knows. Don’t get stucked in the past, nor border much about the future. Leave in the moment, love your partner to infinity so you shall both be renewed every morning. Appreciate the good times, remember the rosy days, burn the ill past moments and leave in the present.
3.) OVERCOMING CHALLENGES
Marrital life is blending the two different poles into a single entity. Therefore the process of this conversation, there exists several challenges. Marriage is not just the ceremony that you host people, but the actual endurance, respect, and honor inculcated by the both couple thereby making the two to be one forever.
Marriage is not just a bed of roses. Every golden marriage you see has gone through it’s own test of blazing fire that have blended it to shine that beautiful. True love proves it’s reality in times of challenges, when you disagree to agree. During an argument, do so lovingly, talk calmly, learn to keep quite and listen, don’t argue in a vulgar manner, neither will you walk away from each other during arguments. Don’t let an unsettled quarell transform into malice. Settle your differences as soon as possible. Never go to sleep with an unsettled argument.
Protect your marriage today, yes you can.
Make up your mind to stay with your partner in times of need, misunderstanding, and tough times. Remember the vow “For better for worse in sickness and in health be there”. Hard times are not forever, after the darkest night comes a happy and new dawn.
4.) APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE
Human’s needs are insatiable, that’s why the very greedy major people will go a long way stealing from the minor, that’s the reason some men/women would be married and harbour several extramarital affairs, same dissatisfaction would make you compare your marriage with others’.
Every marriage has it’s different levels of approaching success, there’s always a right time to achieve whatever be the desire of the family, so don’t compare your marriage with that of any one else, for we are not equal. Some will speedily accelerate on the success trail, while others do so gradually. Don’t compare your wife with one receptionist in the office, don’t compare your hubby with your ex. Don’t wish to be like the next door neighbor who seems to be more successful than you.
Praise your partner, hug him/her, kiss him/her, and tell him/her positive motivational talks on daily basis. At least ones everyday say one kind/ complimentary thing to your partner. Don’t criticize all the time, for this can lead to depression. Tell your partner “you are the best for me, in you I find true love”.
Appreciate what you have, be patient, pray and do your best for what must be must be.
5.) SIDE TALKS ARE DISTRACTIONS
Giving a listening ear to side talks and acting solely base on such information can break your marriage so soon. Permit me to calibrate your mind now. Do you know that nobody really cares about your marriage? Yes, no one can care that much, as it’s even a flaw on your side for anyone to spoon-feed your marriage to grow. So therefore it’s your own ( you And your spouse) responsibility to norture your marriage to pick the desired form.
Disregard all side talks, calm down, ask your partner to know his/her version of the story. Trust is very important in succeeding a life long marriage, so learn to tell your wife/husband the truth. I repeat , to keep your marriage alive, don’t be so quick to act base on an information you are not sure, assumptions, side talks, or under the influence of anger. Don’t give room for side talks to truelly affluence the activities in your marriage.This will help to sour the contents of your love pot. Side talks are distractions.
Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
6.) DECLARATION OF SELF
Indulging in marriage is accepting maturity and responsibility. It means leadership at your doorstep.
So it involves a lot of personal discipline. To sustain a life long lasting marriage, it is compulsory that you declare yourself of all negative/positive attributes. Now you have declared, empty yourself of everything and pick back only the useful traits.
I will not start stating your chaff characters that you are supposed to discard, you know it. But I will stress a little on the useful traits you may find necessary.
Declare yourself a vehicle of true love and add few other Positive Love Sauce to the above mentioned necessities in marriage and you will sustain same efficiency forever.
If you must criticize you must do so lovingly.
7.) TEAM WORK
When you get married, is like you acquired a vehicle, you will need to fuel and maintain it so as to keep it working. No marriage is 100% pass mark on the scale. There is no ready made marriage as it requires personal hard work to customize it to be self sustained. You may not find all the desired qualities in your love, but is easy to have it in the form of a raw material, leaving you with personal home work to mould the person to a perfect standard. This can only be achieved through prayer, love and patience. Give an understanding heart while listening to your beloved. It’s important to listen to his/her talks with your ears, mind and heart. For misunderstanding is the first key that destroys marital life.
It’s the sole responsibility of the couple to keep on correcting themselves on daily basis until maximum perfection is acquired. Marriage is like a car that needs proper maintenance and proper servicing. If this is not done it will break down somewhere exposing the owners to danger or some unhealthy circumstances.
Eat together, sleep together, move hand in hand together, go outings together and ensure to always reserve little time for the family out of your tight schedule.Let us not be careless about our marriages, keep it lively, and always carry your partner along in all you do.
Team work is vital in every marriage
If anyone must win an argument, then that person must be your partner.
8.) BE PRAYERFUL
Adaptation to wedlock life, requires love, understanding and prayers.
Getting married is like driving in a rainy night, such that you can’t see ahead properly. So some will say “Love is blind”. You can not predict what will happen in the future.
Situations may change so always leave room for adjustments, expansion and contraction. Husband can lose his good job or you may fail to have babies. All these require you to be prayerful otherwise you might divorce unwillingly. Don’t fill your heart with worries concerning what you can’t control. Hand it over to God and let the will of God be done.
9.) LET THE LOVE TREE GROW
The first and most important, is that marriage is a life time commitment. So it deserves the best care. Love is the interconnector that intersects the union. Love is the eternal sacrifice you must pay to sustain peace, and success in your marriage so never cease to give it.
Invest as much love as possible into your home, for the more love you give, the more you get in return.Never yell at each other except when the house is on fire. Know the time for everything.
Divorce start in the mind from simple to complex assumptions. Never ever entertain thoughts of getting a divorce. Never threaten your partner with divorce. Choose to remain married.
God Bless You As Find Love This Day.